Midlife is the New Coming-of-Age

What’s good for the boomer goose is good for the boomer gander. The sexual revolution of the 1960s isn’t over. Nor is women’s liberation. Meet the cougar.

Are we having an epidemic of female boomer chronophilia? The male boomer version is regarded as a natural part of life. If a man can have a crisis in midlife, why not a woman? What is chronophilia? An age related romantic or sexual preference outside one’s age group.

The midlife cougar prowl is portrayed in television favorites Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives, but none of these characters come close to the notorious Mrs. Robinson who seduces young boomer Dustin Hoffman in the 1961 movie, The Graduate. There are lots of current cougar celebrity couples: Demi Moore and Ashton Kushner, boomer Katie Curic and her 33-year-old triathlon boyfriend, boomers Cher or Madonna and take your pick.

Social scientists scramble to explain the phenomenon. Perhaps it’s the final frontier of the sexual revolution as the divorce rates hovers around 50%. As we live longer and better, attitudes are changing. Combine Diet, Exercise, and Botox, and a mature boomer can be a “DEB” again. Groups abound to service the cougar—websites, newsletters, dating services, dances, cruses, conventions. You’re not older, you’re better. If vintage wine is good, why not vintage women? It’s the sexual revolution taken to its logical conclusion.

The relationships tend to be casual by design. These boomer women are often well-educated, financially secure, and looking for sex and companionship, not children. Boomer men can have “baggage,” like ex’s, kids, and potbellies. Remember, it takes two to do the cougar tango. The younger dudes are attracted to the uninhibited nature of cougars, their independence, and lack of commitment demands.

The answer to midlife crisis: deny it.

Trivia Factoids

♀ Ann Bancroft, who played Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, was in real life only 6 years older than co-star Dustin Hoffman. To refresh your memory, Dustin Hoffman ends up marrying Mrs. Robinson’s daughter. Although most boomers are too young to have seen the movie release in 1961, it has become a boomer favorite.

♀ According to a 2003 survey by the American Association of Retired People, 34% of women over forty are dating younger men. It doesn’t say how much younger. For the record, most definitions of baby boomers end the reign in 1964, which means if you’re 46 or older in 2110, you’re technically a boomer.

A Glossary of Terms

Boy Toy—a much younger companion of an older woman.

Cadet Cougar—a younger (post-boomer) woman who aspires to be a mature Cougar. Also referred to as a “Cougar Pup.” Sometimes a woman in her 20’s or 30’s who dates younger men. See Puma below.

Puma—a woman in her thirties who dates younger men (“I just love those frat parties”) often considered to be a “cougar-in-training.” See Cadet Cougar above.

Saber Tooth—a boomer woman, usually in her fifties +, dating a man 20+ years her junior. A cougar past her prime, but prime is in the eyes of the beholder.

BABY BOOMER TRIVIA QUESTIONS

What popular cult movie featured a love affair between a suicidal 19-year-old male and a life-affirming 79-year-old widow?

Harold and Maude
When Harry met Sally
Fun With Dick and Jane
Days of Wine and Roses

Who was the oldest woman to be featured in a Playboy Magazine spread?

Sophia Loren
Nancy Sinatra
Mae West
Joan Collins

ANSWERS TO BABY BOOMER TRIVIA QUESTIONS AT END OF POST

TODAY IN BOOMER HISTORY

1951 22nd Amendment to the Constitution is ratified. The President is limited to two terms.

1954 A bill is introduced to the House of Representatives to ban mailing “obscene, lewd, lascivious or filthy” phonograph records. The target was not Frank Sinatra.

1957 The first Elvis million-seller, Heartbreak Hotel, debuts on Billboard charts.

1962 The Supreme Court strikes down laws mandating racial separation on public transportation.

1970  Beatles release Hey Jude album.

1974 Gold soars to a record $188 an ounce.

1975 The first kidney transplant is shown telecast, on the Today Show.

1983 Michael Jackson’s Thriller album shoots to #1 and will stay there for 37 weeks.

1984  Reverend Jessie Jackson admits that he called New York City, “Hymietown.” He apologizes.

1985 Annual Grammys tap What’s Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner as the Record of the Year. The Best New Artist is Cyndi Lauper. Bruce Springsteen wins the Best Rock Vocal Performance for Dancing in The Dark.

1987 First release of  Beatles compact discs.

An independent commission rebukes President Reagan for not controlling his national security staff in the Iran-Contra affair.

1989 California court dismisses most of Margo Adams $12 million breach-of-contract palimony suit against baseball star Wade Boggs.

1993 9th Annual Soap Opera Digest Awards pick Susan Lucci for her role as lovable vixen Erica Kane in All My Children. Favorite Show goes to Days of Our Lives.

The New York City World Trade Center is bombed in a terrorist attack. Seven die.

1999 A jury dismisses a case brought by Texas cattleman against Oprah Winfrey, claiming that her television show on mad cow disease and comments she would never again eat a hamburger caused financial losses to the meat industry.

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ANSWERS TO BABY BOOMER TRIVIA QUESTIONS

► The 1971 movie Harold and Maude featured a love affair between a despondent 19-year-old male and a vibrant 79-year-old widow. It became a boomer cult classic. Ruth Gordon and Bud Curt played the leads. Both were nominated for Golden Globes awards.

►The oldest woman to be featured in a Playboy Magazine spread was this bod was made was posing’ Nancy Sinatra, who retained her svelte figure and looked great at 55, a poster girl for how boomers could age without aging. The youngest, you might wonder, was one Elizabeth Ann Roberts, a bit before her 18th birthday. Her appearance caused a furor and Hugh Hefner was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The crime charge was dropped for “lack of evidence.” How did she slip through? Could it have been a publicity stunt?

Related Post: ♫ You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you. At middle age, men want to retain their youthful look to chase the proverbial young secretary around the desk. See HAIR TRANSPLANTS.